VaginaPagina is an empowering and educational community about vaginas, vulvas, and sexual health. By participating in VP, you agree to follow the community rules. To get you information as quickly as possible and to keep our (rather large) community streamlined, please help us out by reviewing the following:
I'm kind of at my wit's end here. I'm 29, cis hetero female, almost 30 and I've never been able to have an orgasm. I've been masturbating since I was a kid, I've tried all sorts of tricks (shower head, vibrator...), I've had 4-5 sexual partners, and while I enjoy sex/touching/oral, I've never been able to come. I don't even know what it feels like to come. I seem to get close and then it just never happens. My partners have all told me it felt like I was about to come and then for some reason I didn't.
I don't think my clitoris is overly sensitive, or maybe the hood is quite thick. I find shaving helps a lot, but that irritates my vulva and often leads to BV and ingrowns, so I try to minimise the shaving. I've been looking into getting a VCH piercing, as apparently they can help a lot, but worry that it could make my issues even worse. I don't know what else to try.
I have been on the combined contraceptive pill, Cilest, since 2002. I remember when I first started taking it that I felt a bit nauseated but it soon passed. Fast forward to 2015. Last month, the day after I took the first pill of the new pack, I was nauseated to the point of retching. I felt better afterwards and carried on with my day. Today, exactly four weeks later and the day after the first pill, the same thing happened again! I can only think that it's due to the pill? My pharmacist brain tells me that I shouldn't suddenly have side effects after taking it for so long! Has anyone here ever had a similar thing happen? I'm not sure if I should switch to a pill with lower oestrogen, which would be a shame because Cilest has been otherwise great! However I really don't want this nausea/retching thing to occur every month, because I find it quite distressing.
could anyone give me any advice on female condoms? my boyfriend has hsv1 orally and (very) infrequently gets cold sores. he hasnt had one in over a year. he really wants to do oral but i am scared that i could get genital hsv1 from the shedding. its kind of frustrating because I really want to do it, but i know if we do do it without a female condom, my anxiety will go through the roof and ill be scared that i will develop genital herpes. i was looking into female condoms but im not sure what theyre like/ how comfortable they are/ how they are for the guy.
with that said does anyone have any experience with using them for oral sex?
I started my pack of Marlissa (levonorgestrel and ethinyl estradiol) 28 day birth control pills on Sunday, May 10.
On Wednesday May 13, 4 days into the pack, I got my Nexplanon hormonal birth control implant in my arm.
One doc recommended finishing out the Marlissa pack.
One doc said I'd be covered (contraception-wise) two weeks later, and to discontinue the pack 2 weeks after the Nexplanon insertion date.
Another doc said I'd absolutely positively be safe one week after the Nexplanon insertion dat.e
Anyone here have any advice? :) I'm very confused. Thanks in advance.
(To make matters worse, I finally went on Nexplanon in the first place because my HBC was affected negatively by taking Topamax, and that was complicated by also taking Methotrexate, which will likely cause birth defects if a pregnancy occurs.) ( http://vaginapagina.livejournal.com/222
I'm hoping someone can help me. For the past couple months I have had a complete loss of libido. I am completely turned off almost all the time. a couple times I tried to have sex and was extremely ticklish/fidgety (I was nearly wincing every time he touched me, we had to stop). For the most part he has been patient with me. It's really frustrating though because he thinks he is the reason I don't want to have sex, no matter how much I tell him it's me. He sometimes thinks I am hiding something from him and I keep telling him I don't know what's wrong. I don't think it's him because nothing arouses me in the end. I don't randomly get horny like I used to. I have zero desire to masturbate. I don't fantasize about him or anybody. The couple times we have had sex recently I had trouble getting wet. Normally I am pouring fluids and have to use a towel so this is a new thing for me. Last night I thought I might be able to get aroused but as we were starting to fool around everything grossed me out. First his mustache kept getting in my mouth and nose and it was bothering me. Then his hair got on me and I felt it was oily and I got grossed out by that. These things never bothered me in the past- why now? He offered to wash his hair and trim his mustache but I said no because I had the lingering feeling if it wasn't those two things it would just be something else. The anxiety I am getting because of this problem is probably making the issue worse. I looked up going to a sex therapist but it will be way too expensive for me (the cheapest one I found was $110 for 50 min...). Does anybody know of anyway I can 1) find out what is causing it or 2) have some inexpensive treatments for loss of libido or 3) tricks for getting aroused?
I will do practically anything I can afford. I would try the sex therapist but I know if it's a real issue they aren't often resolved in 1 hour and I couldn't afford more than a ~3 sessions. I will read books if anybody has recommendations. I will try herbal supplements. Anything!!!
Other things I should probably mention:
- I exercise regularly and am pretty healthy
- I have been on Skyla since July (previously was on Mirena)
- May have slight PCOS
- My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. We recently decided to get married. I have had some anxiety about it but I think a normal level for a decision of that caliber.
- I have experienced a similar loss of libido a couple years ago when I was going through a very severe depression. Currently, I don't feel depressed really. Slightly stressed, but nothing out of the ordinary as I am a grad student.
- I have great anxiety about going to gynecologists
Thank you in advance for any/all hints/tips/tricks/advice
I'm a bisexual cis woman who is definitely more attracted to the ladies and haven't had sex with a man. Since I'm currently in a relationship with my right hand, this isn't really a major issue. Just an issue, because it's limiting.
I've been to my obstetrician today and while it was ultimately about the pill, she ended up examining me for an issue I've noticed over the past year or two: I can penetrate myself with only one finger. Two fingers hurt really, really bad. My dildo/vibrator just isn't an option.
What she discovered was that my hymen is slightly narrow, and I could probably take care of it myself, but surgery might be an option. If it hasn't resolved itself by fall, I might have to call her and schedule surgery.
I was wondering if any of you VP:ers have experienced this and could give me advice on how to solve this with the minimum amount of pain?